Keep Writing Your Story

Posted: November 27, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Apso Aficionados | 3 Comments

Keep writing your story on the blog! So glad you "have done it your way…", a friend wrote. 

Others are confused. Questions sit in my inbox. Some questions have been there for months, waiting a response. It’s difficult to respond when I am still searching for answers myself. Ergo, the recent, repeated use of the word transition, in repeated posts about transition. I have been journaling on a private blog, a blog started for just me almost a year ago. Perhaps the intro will help…

I am going Down The Quiet Path. It is time to slow down, reflect and redirect myself. In the past month two major projects I’ve devoted the past years to have come to fruition. The RD paper has passed peer review and will be published soon. The Voting Packet was mailed this month. I did my best with both of those; RD since 1996 and the Gompa dogs since 2001. The FFT dogs – 120+ Champions – have accomplished many exciting wins in the show ring, particularly at Specialties. It is time to move on, to learn something else. As I’ve spent the past months FLYing, there’s been a ‘niggling’ in my head about what that should be. Couldn’t put my finger on it, but it was there. Pieces of the next project would emerge, only to fade. Criteria would do the same. I am a scholar by nature. The project needs to be challenging with great opportunity to learn. I love dogs. Breeding dogs. Teaching dogs. Working with dogs. In particular I love the little Apso from Tibet. Edgar Sawtelle was also there in corners of my mind. The words Down The Quiet Path came to me yesterday in the kennel. I decided to start a blog for me, just for me….a diary of sorts of my Quiet Path.

That doesn’t answer Susan’s questions or the other questions keeping hers company in my inbox. Cathy assumed correctly about part of my meaning of ‘transition’. The Gompas – and all that has meant – have consumed my life for ten+ years. I’m ready for them to simply be part of my life, rather than a ’cause’. During those ten years I tried to meet everyone’s – including my own – expectations. I learned that was impossible. I had vision for the Gompa dog breeding program, remaining true to the spirit of Ceese’s Kennel Without Walls idea. I learned that was next to impossible. It’s been difficult for me, an experienced breeder, to keep the lineage going. I learned adding factors created by breeding dogs being ‘elsewhere’ really compounded the challenge. I discovered that as committed as I remain to keeping the Gompa lineage intact, separately, that’s next to impossible.

Throw in almost two years of training Edie and Elliot for agility… I’ve learned teamwork… well, let’s say I’m learning teamwork. I’ve got a long ways to go! My relationship with both of those dogs is deep, strengthened by our work together. The other dogs under my care have begun to haunt me…their minds not challenged. Of course they know rudimentary things, including how to learn. Time, the time required to build the working relationships I have with Edie and Elliot, is non-existent. In the past I was content with the relationship I had with each of my dogs. Now I am haunted by the untapped possibility of each being in my care.

While I’ve been so ready to be done with exhibiting dogs in conformation, that transition comes with mixed feelings. This year’s National was a bit of a swan song. Stevie – Grand Champion FFT Take The Money and Run – had a great week. It was bittersweet to watch Julie exhibit her…

For the first time ALAC hosted a cut-down Sweepstakes. FFT dogs won both Best of Breed and Best of Opposite. Vickie with Champion FFT Kisses of Fire…

Julie with Lily…

I love that photo.That was a beautiful class of bitches, yet Lily stands out. At the conclusion of judging, Julie and I looked at each other, communicating with our eyes. “Take that!” See?! There is still a competitive bone or two in me! However, I’m no longer willing to spend my time doing the things required to walk in the ring, time after time, dog after dog, one Champion coming after the other. Neither is she.

So those are some of the things I’ve been juggling with, struggling with. While I will try to do with the Gompas what I did with the Fleetfire lineage (make sure there was always a direct line back to the founders), the breeding programs will be integrated. Integrated several different ways. Ella (FFT) is here to be bred to Tigle (100% Gompa). Echo (Gompa x Keeper) will be bred to Danba (100% Gompa). Takpa (100% Gompa) will be bred to both Siku (Gompa x Keeper) and Tigle (100% Gompa). Margo (Gompa x Keeper) will be bred back to Tigle. And maybe, just for fun Whisper (Gompa x Keeper) will be bred to Edmund (FFT).  🙂

That’s the current plan for the next several years. Time will tell how that works out.

A merry twinkle

Posted: November 13, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: DRambles on Black Mountain, FFT Lhasa Apsos, Gompa Lhasa Apsos | 3 Comments

A merry twinkle, I saw her grandfather in her eyes this past week. Eve…if you will…has been here a month.

Sprite had a sense of humor. The grandfather of her intended mate was much too serious to twinkle. Drepung was dignified. He took watching – watching out for his pack, watching the day go by – seriously. From the front of the Volvo between Ceese and Mac, he watched out the front window coming ‘cross country, delivered with nine of his tribe to my Rocky Mountain home over ten years ago.

He was my dog, Drepung. He’s been gone almost a year, dying the same way he lived. With dignity. He had not bonded to anyone back east, so I was told. He was not a cuddly dog which was, perhaps, the reason why. I admired him from the time we met. His quiet, powerful presence. He was with me in St. Louis when I first presented the Gompa dogs to members of the American Lhasa Apso Club. I almost didn’t take him with me, evidenced by his lack of a long hair on top of his head in those photos.

That was yesterday. And yesterday’s gone. Over ten years have passed. Where on earth does time go?! My, how that project evolved over those ten+ years. I did the best I could. That’s all one can ask.

Two weeks ago Sarah flew to Denver to pick up Zen. During our conversation she asked about Zen’s attributes. Mid list I choked up. And told her when I look at Zen I see her ancestors. The tail females, Hattie, Danielle, Summer, Tommy, Bell and Jelly Bean, all Champions – a handful in the 120+ Champions over the years – and most Register of Merits. What I couldn’t express – and wouldn’t express with someone I’d just met – was sending Zen onward to her forever home was much more than…that.

Putting the kennel dogs out one morning this past week it hit me. The transition really is happening. Five females ran to the gate to the outer dog yard, four Gompas and one FFT. Norma Jean – FFT Purple Marble – is the only intact FFT female in the kennel. OMG!! I sure as $h!t better have meant it! I took note of the males. Eight males; two neutered, two FFT (father and son), three Gompas and one Tibetan import. Yep, I sure as $h!t better have meant it!

Frank Sinatra’s I Did It My Way just popped into my head. I’ll try not to get sidetracked because there’s at least one story I can tell you about that song.

And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case of which I’m certain

I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets I’ve had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes there were times I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way

For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

Yes it was my way

Yep, it was. My way. Rebel with a cause. Or two. I saw them through. The record shows.

The final curtain…sounds like I’m done. Ah! Not quite yet! Eve? Grand Champion FFT Melou’s “Well Said” is her name. Ella is here to be bred to Kunza Tigle. This is a first – FFT x Gompa dog. How fitting that she also has an agility title or two! This upcoming breeding represents a fusion, a fusion of past work and successes, current learning and a new path for the future.

NOISE!

Posted: November 7, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: DRambles on Black Mountain, FFT Lhasa Apsos | 1 Comment

It’s early. It’s still dark outside. The time changed yesterday. It’s even darker now this time of day. I’m wide awake, ready to write. Coffee in hand. I’ve been waiting for this for months, maybe longer, wondering if the inspiration would come back. Enveloped by silence and darkness, a warm cup of coffee – and a handful of Apsos – for company.

Day before yesterday Marla wrote an essay about noise. This particular section spoke to me:

Now, how can I get you to turn down the volume so you can hear yourself think? This is very hard. I want you to imagine getting up very early in the morning to watch the sun rise. All the family is still sleeping in their warm beds; you are the only person that is stirring. Fix yourself an imaginary cup of coffee and go sit on your porch and watch the sun peak through the clouds and trees. What do you hear? When was the last time you enjoyed a sunrise? Are the birds singing yet? There is a time just before sunrise when one bird will start its morning solo serenade. Then you will hear another bird answer for a sweet duo. I just love this time of morning. The earth is so peaceful with a gentle rustling of the leaves. Then the orange glow starts to fill the picture. As the sun comes up, so does the volume level. 

I’m not going to try sitting out on the deck this cold morning…

I remember an evening, a summer evening, several years ago sitting in this chair. Quietly. Sitting. Rocking. Feeling the summer air on my skin. Waiting for darkness to fall. Such a simple thing, yet so memorable. Why? Was it because I stopped the noise and simply sat with myself?

One of the things I really like about this time of day, this time of year is the silence. Snow absorbs sound, a quiet beauty. Another thing I like is the darkness, the early morning darkness. The call to the keyboard.

Hello again.